Stewart Island boasts stinking mud, poisonous traps, head-numbing rain and a hotel. Californian writer and traveller, Douglas Wilkins, takes a sideways look at the hazards facing explorers of the far south.
AN almost endearing feature of life in New Zealand is that the small quirky news item, once preserved for the very end of local-news magazine programmes in the UK but now replaced with a yoof-crime feature, is alive and well. And, as far as I can tell, taking up at least 75% of the time that should be spent reporting international affairs.
Imagine a russet and blood-brown giant grasshopper wearing a full-face motorcycle helmet, with oversized deely boppers and you'll be getting something close to the B-grade image you need to avoid.
THE first event for a Wairarapa historical village will be staged towards the end of this month.
Not content to move to New Zealand without dressing up in leather or chain mail and dueling or jousting, Wairarapa couple Mike and Lara Ferguson are building their very own historical village. And on the 23rd-24th May they will host the "Longbush Fling".
THE sunniest town in New Zealand remains uncertain for 2008 after a fault was discovered in recording devices located near Whakatane in the North Island.
Whakatane's 2008 figures were investigated after recording over 2700 hours of sunshine, well ahead of the next sunniest place, Blenheim, in the Marlborough district of the South Island.
The NIWA (National Institute of Water and Atmospheric research) installed an identical instrument alongside the Whakatane sunshine sensor, and compared data for over one month.
The march towards political correctness has not proceeded as far in New Zealand compared to the UK and there is a general delight expressed when unwritten PC rules are transgressed.
That doesn't mean insulting comments or behaviour goes un-remarked upon or that differences are not tolerated. But for one female guest on TVNZ it meant an accusation of moustache cultivation.
WHATEVER else you may have to give up when you arrive in New Zealand, Britain's favourite take away is not one of them.
And that doesn't mean chicken tikka massala (though you won't have to give that up either), no, Fish and Chips is every bit a Kiwi delicacy as it is back in Blighty.
Which is why it was a national disaster and an international incident when a Nelson fish and chip shop exploded earlier today.
"It was like a nuclear bomb," Miranda Radcliffe, reportedly told The Nelson Mail.
Luckily, rumours of a mushroom cloud and widespread fallout were later dismissed by fire fighters, who said the damage was caused by a gas explosion.
For the discerning Brit it's useful to know that "Fush and Chups," is the correct Kiwi pronunciation, and that ordering when you arrive at the door is the usual protocol. Fish is mostly fried to order and not pre-cooked then left to fester beneath hot lamps as it is back home.
A POLL by national paper The New Zealand Herald has found that two-thirds of New Zealand drivers want to scrap the right-hand give way rule. But if you're from the UK you probably won't even know about it until an irate Kiwi tries to run you off the road at a junction.
At an intersection, obtuse Kiwi traffic laws require that if you are turning left, you give way to vehicles coming towards you that are turning right. Have a look at the illustration and remember that in real life the red car will be turning across you while you wait with annoyed traffic piled up behind.
Even when you get used to the rule and it becomes second nature when you are turning left, if you are behind the person turning, it is still unexpected when they stop on the main road to give way. If you don't have to stand on your breaks to avoid back-ending a left-turning car every few days you're doing really well.
But unlike the Brits who tend to love holding onto outdated traditions like, miles, ounces and pints, the Kiwis are in favour of a change, and let's hope it comes sooner rather than later. (But don't hold your breath, I'm told by avid Kiwi watchers that this topic comes up once a year at holiday time when there's no political or business news.)
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