A three dollar infection

Those same nano-sized viruses that are to the weave in his face mask like marbles to a football net.

THE bus driver was wearing a DIY face-mask yesterday morning specifically designed to stop you breathing all those carcinogenic chemicals they used to put in paint but now don't, because somebody decided giving decorators cancer was probably not a great marketing plan.

The driver seemed quite happy behind his white ribbed-mask that looked a bit like a pig snout with a metal strip across the nose.

I looked in the cab for evidence of the DIY project he was building while waiting for passengers to off-load. I couldn't see it.

"Been doing some sanding?" I asked.

Kiwi bus drivers, at least in Wellington, are not the most comminicative species. There might be a grunt or a scowl, or even a shake of the head as they close the door on you and drive off, but a desire to discuss Kepler's theory of orbiting bodies is best kept to yourself.

In this way they are not unlike bus drivers all around the world. There must be a special, global school for bus drivers that teaches how to put your hand out to take money and rip a ticket, while still looking straight ahead through the windscreen. You fail if you show any emotion except utter boredom or indifference.

I think he mumbled something about swine flu, and it dawned on me that he wasn't worried about the grain sized flecks of paint from his sanding project, but the nano-sized viruses breathed out by his passengers.

Those same nano-sized viruses that are to the weave in his face mask like marbles to a football net.

In other words, the mask won't help mate, unless it's purpose is to stop you putting your fingers in your mouth or picking your nose.

I handed him my $3 dollar one stage fare which he put in the money tray. Then he rubbed his eye, thus transferring any viruses neatly from my coins into his body.

I didn't tell him the money was the vector for his infection, should he get it. It's a very efficient way of passing round a virus indeed.

So are the buttons from an EFTPOS machine, the finger pads at an ATM, or the door handle into a shop.

In fact, there are so many vectors for infection that the most efficient way of avoiding them is suicide.

That would hardly help.

Comments

[Sarah]

Ha, ha, I'm laughing whilst I read! Nice piece!